But these are misplaced notions. More exposure does not necessarily result in the transformation of mindset.
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Men often find it difficult to break free from their parental set-ups and childhood values; the mother-in-law, meanwhile, makes sure that it stays that way. We must keep our preconceived notions at bay. Emphasising that marriage should not be taken lightly, Merchant feels that girls should also raise their level of tolerance to make the relationship work.
While a large percentage of love marriages have backfired of late, there is no guarantee that an arranged marriage will last forever. However, if there is communication and a willingness to grow, then it could work.
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To be fair to those mothers-in-law who do make an effort, playwright Haseeba Moin says that younger people can be rather selfish and are likely to spoil matters at some stage. It is not a bad thing to give in sometimes because you can't live by yourself all your life.
Having said that, Moin feels that the combined stress of juggling household chores and a professional life creates pressure that earlier generations of women did not have to deal with. A few analysts and counselors changing societal trends, indicative of a society heading towards moral and ethical bankruptcy. Dr Naz Shireen, a leading psychologist in Karachi, however,disagrees. Barrings few exceptions, if a boy has seen his father mistreating his mother, he will do the same with his wife. On the other hand he could become so overprotective of his mother that he may go overboard in forcing his wife to be good to her.
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Having said that, there are still some who disagree. His parents, however, feel that he is defending Salina and threaten to throw him out of the house. He once suggested living independently after the wedding but his parents told him that they would feel very insulted if he moved out and would have to disown him completely. Kachelo feels that it is the boy who needs to have the ability to detach himself from the situation and analyse it carefully. Unlike Kachelo, Dr Khan is sympathetic towards him. There is no personal growth and you need a new set of healthy beliefs but it comes at a risk — severing the umbilical cord.
It is not an easy thing for a boy to do.
Mrs Ali, a year-old woman who is popularly known as a rishta aunty or matchmaker, has given up the practice after having done it for almost 15 years. This was originally published in the Herald's July issue. To read more subscribe to the Herald in print. I think girl and her husband should live separately from her in-laws.
When a girl can leave her parents alone after marriage then why can't boys. There was so much going on inside. Post-project, however, Eastwood has seemed to melt easily into the idea of really putting effort into an acting career.
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As she rides off into the sunset—perhaps not as the new Dirty Harriette—Eastwood seems more relaxed about receiving guidance from her parents, even if she rejected their help on this breakout feature. What would my dad say? By Joanna Robinson. By John Lockett.
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