Are there any other adults that you know who you can look to for help and guidance?
A teacher, school counselor , relative or neighbor? You need support and there might be adults other than your mom who can provide that for you. My best to you, Dhyan. You and your siblings deserve a better mother. Unfortunately, this is the mother you were given. I think it is incredible that you are taking care of your siblings and practically raising them. In two years, you will legally be an adult and able to do more for yourself and your siblings.
Your mother lashes out at you because she has nobody else to vent to.
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Try not to take her words to heart. I grew up with a dad who chose his addictions over my sibling and me, while my mom chose my dad over her children because she worshipped the ground that he walked on. I had poor self-confidence, and no friends, as a result, because I believed that I was unworthy if my own parents would rather choose anything else over me. I am sharing this because I want you to know that you are not alone. If or when you finally become a parent and you practically are one, since you are taking care of your siblings , be the opposite of your mother.
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My name is Kara and I never knew what I was a victim of until I read your blog. Growing up I had a mom that blamed be for everything. When the thermastate was on higher than it was suppose to be it was my fault. When her towels in her linen closet went misses it was my fault. She beat me up pulling my hair, slamming up against the wall or on the floor.
My sister was never hurt or told off. She never got hit. Whenever she was in trouble my mom and dad were there. I recently was in jail, scared with no one and no one would even bother to pick up the phone. Throughout my entire life she has madeup reasons not to support or care about me. I have asked myself why? I have blamed myself my whole life. I have lived with is my entire life and now I have no family , no friends no moral support in anything. My boyfriend left me stranded in the state I have live in for now 10 yrs and still nothing has changed.
Because of how they have always treated me and no one coming into my life lucky enough to change anything. Thank you so much for reaching out. Please know there is hope, and help is available. If you are in immediate danger of harming yourself in any way, it is very important you seek help immediately. You can call or your local law enforcement, or visit your nearest hospital emergency room. You can also search for a therapist in your area on the GoodTherapy.
We are thinking of you and wishing you the very best! Kind regards, The GoodTherapy. Any negative things you think try to replace them with a positive.. Be extra good to yourself knowing you deserve the best. Im so sorry to hear about your struggles. It is not fare that you have to put up with this. I will tell you counseling might be a good thing to look into later or now , please know its not your fault.
I know what you are going threw I survived it too.
I wish I could give you a hug brother please hang in there you will eventually get out and meet someone that deserves a good person like you. Take Care and know I will pray for you. No one deserves what type parent they get…. Your task is to progress along your own path. For some people having children is solely about feeding their own selfish adult need. I was sent far away to boarding school at age 7, which for many rich parent kids is juvenile jail for rich absentee parents.
The kicker was my parents business went sour, were personally bankrupt by the time I was 14 and I had to be self-sufficient from there-on in. Sad really! I too went to boarding school at age 9. I live km from my parents. Not exactly looking forward to the trip due to the thought of establishing and then breaking bonds yet again. The emotional neglect of boarding really hit me in the stomach when my eldest turned You see how vulnerable you probably were. And it suddenly hits you. Or it did in my case. Boarding school really is an industrialized form of emotional neglect. The facilities may be nicer these days, but the age old problem remains: No parents.
You cant get away from the psychological damage this does. Also the constant establishing and breaking of the bonds as you move between the school and home. Later in life I had major problems establishing friendships and romantic relationships, and finally got married at Example: Its the boarding school training when I start yelling at 10 for everyone to go to bed that was lights out 40 years ago. When I cannot sit still, its the boarding school speaking…etc. My Dad was an exboarder and my Mom was raised by an ex boarder my grandmother. It deals with childhood emotional neglect.
Reading the literature on ex boarders was very helpful. What has been very helpful has been talking to a therapist. This has made me much more confident and I have opened up big time to friends and colleagues. While scary, it has made a profound difference to the quality of my relationships. It took me a while to understand that there was nothing wrong with me.
My behaviour was an expected response to the childhood emotional neglect of the boarding school. Good luck with your recovery.
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Like at school, never give up. Because they were idiots who didnt know how to practice safe sex like my parents. He worked 60 hrs a week to support us and had no idea the emotional abuse we endured and after he left…the hoarder episode that was my house. Great, article and helpful tips for recovery, thank you!
Asking why people have children and then neglect them is not helpful. It happens and we need to focus on the solutions like this article does. I was neglected as a child and sadly fit into all the groups.
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I still go for the symathy vote when struggling and I hate this default state as an adult when I have other methods of dealing with situations. As I was made responsible for so much at a young age I do have extensive problem solving skills which I use after my default near jerk reactons.
Cynical really but still feel compelled to put others first all the time.
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